When something upsetting happens to your young child, it’s so much harder to protect and support them, if you’re not getting the support you need, as a parent.
Our story began over a year ago when my four year old daughter Eilidh told me something really upsetting had happened to her. At the time Eilidh had an early years social worker. The social worker helped me go to the police station and report it, but this wasn’t a positive experience. I’d met the police officer I spoke to before and she wasn’t engaging or helpful. She showed no empathy or sympathy.
It was really difficult to go to the police station, but three weeks after I gave the statement the police called me to say they had lost it. I had to go back in and give my statement all over again.
I wanted to concentrate on being there for Eilidh, but I was also having to manage the anger and frustration I felt because my experience with the police. It only got worse, when they came to the house to meet Eilidh. They came in uniform and were cold, stern and monotone. It took Eilidh a while to answer their questions and I had to ask many of them myself to help her with it. It was clear that she didn’t feel comfortable with them.
Eilidh’s experience of the child interview felt much better. The police officer and social worker showed us the interview space together and then gave Eilidh some play dough to play with. When I left so that they could interview her, they asked her to draw me a picture. It helped to put her at ease and she knew I was just down the hall if she needed me. The interview felt age appropriate and the interviewers said that Eilidh had engaged well and managed all the questions. Eilidh was calm and clearly felt safe.
Unfortunately following the child interview the communication has been very poor. Instead of concentrating on Eilidh, I’m chasing people for updates. The only update I got was from the early years social worker. I don’t understand why they spoke to her and not to me, as Eilidh’s Mum. We don’t have an early years social worker now and we’re not getting any updates at all.
When I contacted the Procurator Fiscal’s office I was told to write an email. I shared my worries and concerns openly and honestly in the email but instead of a personalised acknowledgment, I got an automated response stating the investigation was pending. A more understanding response from the Procurator Fiscal would have been so much better. At least I would feel like our worries and concerns had been heard.
Eilidh used to be a quick, bright and happy child, but now she’s struggling. She can’t sleep at night. I’ve done everything I can, but we’re still living in the dark. I don’t know what I should prepare Eilidh for and we can’t make any plans. Until we have an outcome to the case, we can’t move on and Eilidh can’t recover.