We know many children and young people in Scotland are worried about war and violent conflict going on around the world.
The 24-hour news cycle and noise from social media can feel overwhelming. Many adults are talking about wars and acts of aggression around the world and our children will be picking up on what’s happening.
Some of the families we are working with across the country are under huge stress because they have relatives or friends caught up in war.
If you live in Scotland and are worried about the impact on your child, Children First support line is here for you and your family. Our friendly team can lend advice about how to support your child to understand what is happening and to manage their worries and anxiety.
For young children
It’s important to remember that your child or children will be sensitive to your own anxiety. Young children can keenly sense if the adults close to them are more stressed or feeling anxious. It’s important to remember that although the conflict is far away young children might not understand that and can place themselves as the focus, worried that they too are in harm’s way.
Sounds can also have an impact. Through television, radio and smart phones children may be hearing gunshots or explosions, journalists on the TV speaking with urgency and the voices of children and families in distress. Even if it is background noise, young children may still be picking up a sense of alarm. Consider turning off the news and devices or switching to something else when your children are around.
Your children might also come to you asking difficult questions. They will be hearing words or maybe even seeing things they don’t understand or haven’t seen before. It’s important to make special effort to listen to their questions and answer honestly, not to say, ‘Don’t worry about it’ or ‘It won’t affect you.’ Leaving a child to fill in any gaps with their own imagination might lead to anxiety or stress as they connect what they’re seeing or hearing to themselves.
Talk to your child about war or conflict as you would about any difficult subject. Following your own instincts as a parent or carer is usually best. Be truthful, but don’t go into more detail than your child can understand. Let your child guide the conversation and finish it when they are ready to finish it. Your child might need extra reassurance or more hugs to let them know they are safe.
Save the Children have many other resources to help you talk to your children about this difficult subject, including this useful blog ‘How to talk to children about war’.
For older children and young people
Your older children or teens might be far more informed about what’s happening than younger children. They may even know more than you. They might have online friends or classmates with a close personal connection to wars that are happening around the world. Consider talking to your older children about conflict, even before they talk to you, to help settle any worries.
Young people get a large amount of their news from social media, so they may be seeing potentially disturbing or extreme content, particularly of images of war and people leaving their homes. You can set up parental controls to ensure that the most shocking content is filtered but it isn’t completely guaranteed to prevent your children seeing such imagery. Our Children First website has advice about how to support your child if you feel they have seen disturbing or extreme content. You can call our support line team on 08000 28 22 33 or start a webchat with them here.
Remind your child that there can be misreporting of events, particularly on social media and while it can be important to be informed, they shouldn’t take everything they see online as fact.
Listen really carefully to your child’s questions or feelings, have an honest talk about what is happening and remind them it’s ok to be worried or uncertain. Perhaps encourage them to think about what they can do practically to help from where you are in Scotland by taking part in a fundraiser or collecting donations.
If you and your child have direct experience of war or conflict, this might be bringing back traumatic memories for your family. It’s important that you reach out to your support networks, friends, family or you can get in touch with us at Children First support line. We’re here for you.
Yourself
Although you might be concerned for your children’s worries about war and conflict, it’s important you take time for yourself and to process your own feelings. Talk about what you feel comfortable with to loved ones or those you trust.
Remember Children First support line can also offer a safe space to talk about what is happening and the impact on your family.
If you live in Scotland, call us for free on 08000 28 22 33 or get in touch via our webchat. We’re here for you seven days a week Monday to Friday, 9am – 9pm and Saturday to Sunday, 9am - noon.